Two years ago life took on the biggest and most challenging task to date,
a journey of self discovery and acceptance began with the daily lesson,
“To be with what is.”
I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia,
seemingly a chronic state of physical dis-ease, unrelenting pain
and to a degree mental disability, as huge fatigue settled in.
This has without doubt been the biggest challenge of my life as an active
and very demanding life quickly became a very quiet and self reflective time.
Also as a runner realistically it meant big change.
From plus or minus 50kms of running a week to 0…
BIG Change indeed.
From full time illustrating to not being able to open a clothes peg
with my dominant hand, these have been the daily tasks to overcome.
From Dr. to Dr. test to test, physiotherapist to chiropractor,
specialist to alternative medicine… I have the badges and bills.
But before this begins to sound like a violin concerto,
this is the point of reflection that made me want to share this time
with you, always there has been an angel in the wings,
always there has been a sight to remind me how many people have
so much bigger mountains to climb, so much harder roads to travel,
that there is always the little voice in my mind,
(that of my kids origin I am sure) which just said it so simply,
“deal with it” or in contemporary language “just suck it up.”
And so I hit my solitary “Road less travelled” and walked, explored,
smelt many roses (and photographed many natural gems.)
I have discovered new wonders, learned to love again this magnificent city of ours
and did things on my own with such ease as I got to grips with the challenges.
This week I found the moon floating in a canal,
a forest of trees on a beach
and enrolled my first group of drawing students.
One amazing week,
I have tackled my first delicate drawing,
found such solace in the mighty pencil
and went to a movie for the first time on my own,
(something I never believed I could do!)
But this is the acid test, today I dug into the darkest part of my cupboard
and hauled out the ‘on sabbatical’ running kit,
and with footwear intact, felt the joy of “The wind beneath my wings.”
But here is the thing, I have found home, it is inside of me,
so simple and yet so hidden from view by the business of life.
It is inside of all of us.
Running with the wind, I sang as I ran.
(Though also as my kids would remind me, nothing like Bette Midler!)
“Thank you, thank you, thank God for you, the wind beneath my wings”
Now it is time to soar, like an Eagle, so high I can almost touch the sky.
Thank you, the person who found my missing link, thank you.
You are the wind beneath my wings.
Never say never.